The Death of Danny Phantom
by galadriel-nz
Summary: A very sad story. You will laugh and cry.
1. Chapter 1

The Death of Danny Phantom

Caution: This is a comedy piece made to make fun of Danny Phantom, anybody who doesn't like it can shove it where the sun don't shine.

The town of Amity was deadly silent as clouds rolled overhead, it was midnight and nobody was around. But maybe there was somebody there…

Out of the shadows came a creature, so hideous it would burn your eyes to see it, so ugly it would burn away the skin on your eyeballs, so mutated that it couldn't possibly be human. In fact it wasn't. Only part human anyway, it was a horrible creature by the name of Danny Phantom. He was covered in a glowing slime and had unnaturally white hair. He was purely disgusting.

If you could call him a he, nobody knew where he came from; some say he crawled out of the pits of hell where he was spawned by the devil and a slug. But the truth, as I have now discovered, is far more gruesome. He was born, as a human child, to human parents. He grew up and had a normal life, the hideousness lurking just the surface. It all came out on the day he saw the world he had come from, the ghost zone.

The creature crawled through it's own slime leaving a trail not unlike a snails behind it. It carried on until it reached its destination; the hometown of his arch nemesis. He carried on, his pained crawl taking him not to a house but to a construction yard. In the various garages were a tractor and a digger and more unsightly machinery. He knew now more than ever that he had to be careful, these machines had eyes, literally, no kidding, seriously, no jokes, I'm not kidding, they had eyes. There was a sentry posted near the door of the building, it was a huge, fat, purple, round headed monstrosity, almost as hideous as Danny himself. Danny had heard it was called Tinkle Winkle but it wasn't a vary reliable source. He could deal with it, however, he pulled out of his hideous, slime coated, rotted shirt a bowl of pink goo. Silently he placed down in the shadows where it was just within sight of the guard. The round-headed-creature couldn't resist and it almost tripped over in its rush to get to the nourishing…well, goo is really the only word for it (I could call it whale poo but that would be less mysterious, although extensive research has led me to believe that was the main component of the goo).

He hurried into the now unguarded house and followed several corridors before coming to a room, it was occupied by three more of the round headed creatures, one red, one green and one yellow. They were horrendous to see (you would be even more disgusted if you knew that the room they were in was a large hall containing a giant fish tank. Inside was a poor, captured whale. If you read my previous comment you would know that this was so the round-heads could collect their food when it came out of the poor animal) that even he, in all his hideousness, was appalled. He knew their names to be Baabaa, Tipsy and Poo and that in some countries the children worshipped these creatures. He quickly passed by this room in search of his true enemy, no doubt the…what were they called? The Teveehubbies were formidable but he had bigger fish? No bigger clay to fry.

The next room he came upon was the study and there was something in there. In the high-backed chair in front of the fireplace there was something moving. It was crudely shaped out of clay and wore a yellow hat and overalls. The thing moved, Danny realized it was clutching a bottle of finest Russian Vodka. A shot glass lay discarded nearby. Then the thing spoke.

"He..yy….is ther...somebo..d there?"

Danny didn't move or speak he just stood there.

"hoo…are you to talc…about mi mudder like tat! Just because she was bon a man dain't meen she's any difrent."

The thing was obviously very drunk. He probably needed psychiatric help too but Danny let him rant on.

"Soooooo…babee! You come here and guv me some shugeer sweeedy!"

Danny slowly moved toward the drunken form and it hugged him, its hands reaching around.

"I thought I ordered a lurvlee gurl for me twonite. Hhhhheyy! Yous a guy! Awww. It's skay I lurv you anyway brover."

His was resting with one arm around Danny's neck now. Finally Danny spoke:

"First of all… that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me and I love you too with all me heart."

The two men kissed for a moment then Danny pulled away.

"Secondly…I came here to kill you! Prepare to die you drunk bastard!"

"Kwill me? Heeyyy!"

The clay from lifted up it's vodka bottle and hit Danny around the head with it. It shattered and a piece of glass lodged in Danny's brain. Danny lay there and died, killed by a man who was so many things to him. His arch enemy, his gay lover, and a drunkard with no self respect. The drunkards name was the last thing Danny ever said;

"Bob…th..e…bill…de…r……"

Bob had Danny's gravestone inscribed:

Danny Phantom!

Can we kiss him?

Danny Phantom!

Yes we can!

Danny Phantom!

Can we kill him?

Danny Phantom!

Yes we can!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks to RavensDarkrose for inspiring the description of Danny and the language of Bob the Builder.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING: The following story was written by Ravensdarkrose (teengirl obsessed with writing stories) and Galadriel-nz (Lunatic wanna be Wiccan with relocation issues). It insults Bob the Builder, Invader Zim, Sam Manson, Jack Fenton, Paris Hilton and very briefly, due to one of Raven's comments, pagans. If u have a problem with our story, shove it where the sun don't shine. Thankyou for taking an interest in this story which makes no/very little sense.

It was a dark and stormy night. There was a creaky door creaking. A cat meowed. Bet you want to hear something really scary now huh? Well here you go…  
Sitting in a high-backed red leather chair in a maple walled study (you know, I'd really like one of those) was the start of something evil. A ball of multicoloured slime. A creation so foul that I'm using it to scare you. Born from a hole in the ground, formed over hundreds of years. Evil beyond reckoning. Worshipped by those who don't know better, hated and feared by all others. It was…  
No, I dare not say its name, it's too horrible!  
But, ladies and gentlemen, the horror of all horrors was sitting in that chair.

A movement in the chair caused the shadows cast by the evil looking stained glass lamps to flicker. Then, with a quiet chink, an empty glass bottle fell out of the chair. Labelled " Finest Russian Vodka" it was the horror of all horror's favourite drink. After joining alcoholics anonymous and being kicked out for killing a counsellor with a bottle he/it had reverted back to his/its old habits. Only one friend had stuck by him/it in his/its 6 year alcoholic phase: Zim. When Zim's world domination mission had failed he too had becoming an alcoholic. After going through a stage as a hitman, then as a pimp, then as a constant customer for prostitutes, a ticket salesman at his local theatre (which drove him to despair along with a discarded lollypop and mountains of popcorn), he had finally settled down with his best friend.

Authors Note: This is not a story about a pair of homosexual cartoon characters, if you want that read The Death of Danny Phantom or request a home-made story with your least favourite people involved.  
Anyway, now we're done with flashbacks and author's notes I'd like to return to the chair in the study.  
Suddenly, there was a crash and the chair tipped over. Laying sprawled in the wreckage was the horror of all horrors. You've probably been unfortunate enough to see an image of it on TV but I think it necessary to recap. It was less than 50cm high, and fashioned as if out of clay. A face of pure evil gazed out from under a crudely fashioned yellow pot. It had no feet, just brown stumps and it wore a blue rag tied over its shoulders. It was truly painful to look at. It lay there, moaning and gurgling, for some time, then began to crawl evilly towards the cabinet where it kept its chosen poison. Swearing loudly, it reached up for the door of the drinks cabinet. Grabbing hold it pulled with all its clay strength. And its hand fell off. Ignoring the lump of (flesh?) on the ground next to it it reached up again with its other hand. The same thing happened and the creature realised it had no arms.  
"Why? Mudda? Youf brokin me 'ands orf! Why mudda? Zlim! Zlim! Shlelp me! Shlelp!"

Zim heard the call from the kitchen where he was making a casserole , but when he arrived in the study, Bob was not longer there. He walked over to the drinks cabinet where there was a pool of coloured liquid on the ground. Bending over to inspect it he heard an evil cry from above.

"Haha! I've got you now!"  
Zim looked up to see a shadowy figure standing on the bookcase. It was wearing all purple and it's face was covered in black.  
"He stole my boyfriend and Danny loved him back! He was mine!!! Now I've melted your stupid gay boyfriend and you'll die too!!"

"Oh, right, I get you now, would you consent to hearing me ZIM! INVADER OF EARTH! speak before you do the whole killing me thing?"

"Yeah, I guess that's not a problem," sitting down the shadowy figure picked up a shot glass and got comfortable.

"Firstly, I am not gay. He was, me not. Secondly, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen"

The shadow's lip quivered for a moment and a tear formed in its eye.  
"You really think so?"  
"Absolutely"

The young girl seemed to be at a loss for words as she smiled warmly at the green alien. However, unbeknownst to either of them, the pile of mutant slime had erected into no other than… Jack Fenton! Bob the builder's secret double personality! You see for many years bob had washed away his 'buddy' with alcoholic substances such as his trade mark Russian Vodka. But now that Bob had died Jack was free to rain terror on the world! But you see Jack was unlike bob in so many ways. Instead of being a drunkard bastard with no self respect he was a bear hugging, fudge obsessed maniac with a backwash issue. He stared at the duo with an unforgiving look in his eyes. The pair gulped, knowing what would happen next. And so it did as they thought as he stepped fourth… and squashed them all in a killer bear hug!

"How are ye all today!" he yelled in their ears.

"OH NO! What ever can he do now?" the girl cried in despair as she tried to struggle from the monsters grip.

"I ZIM! INVADER OF EARTH! Have an idea!" he cried and pointed behind Jacks head.

"It's a ghost!" he breathed out as Jack squashed his rib cage further.

"GHOST!!!" he cried as he dropped the two heavily to the ground and dashed off in said direction.

They breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed their sore tail bones until a horrid sound, too gruesome to described echoed around the walls. The girl clutched her ears and started crying.

"Make it stop!" she pleaded.

Out from around the corner stepped fourth Paris Hilton singing her latest song 'Stars are Blind.'

"I'd take the drunked bastard any day!" cried Zim over the noise.

Paris continued her banshee-like singing and the couple doubled over in pain. Then, Jack jumped out from behind a wilting camellia and shouted,

"It's the ghost! A banshee (Raven: Bloody pagans…)! Kill it!!! Make it put some clothes on!!" screaming like a wounded bullfrog, he charged at the (exwe put this in brackets because you never really can be sure with her…)pornstar. She was so busy trying to find a camera that she didn't notice him and they both crashed headlong into a rhino who had been standing in the room (the reason for the rhino in the room is beyond us, we are still researching). So, that's them out of the picture, good thing too, I don't like Paris Hilton and I don't think she should go out in public, its not appropriate for children to see her. Anyway, so we have Sam and Zim in the room doing nothing much. Suddenly, the camera view switches to a nearby bar. Where three men are watching a rugby game. One man purchases a packet of peanuts. The view switches back to Zim and Sam. They decide to start a game of uno. Once again the screen changes. The following message flashes on screen:

**GAME OVER**


End file.
